He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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