Swine flu. Run for my life!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
