i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
