Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
