bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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