good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
