the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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