I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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