Just cropdusted the office
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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