My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
