I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
