Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
