id be glad to
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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