Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
