You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You're like the curious george of whores
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
