he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
