Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
