this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
