you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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