I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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