dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it's like heaven, but drunker
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
