Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
