Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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