Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
