you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
