those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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