No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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