I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
