:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
