the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
