You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize