Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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