I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
