just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
