is your mom at the bar?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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