i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
