i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
