do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
