I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
