im about as happy as oj after his trial
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
handjob tips. give me some.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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