You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
