she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
