And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize