I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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