dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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