Already got asked if we're dating
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
