is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just found puke in my bra..
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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