Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
