so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
