i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Let's get the cat blown out
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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