Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
