we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Come see our sink grown plant.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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