love makes seman taste better
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
