his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
