i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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