i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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