i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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