I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
