I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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