I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
