You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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