His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
