Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
